"Living a life of faith means never knowing where you are being led." - Oswald Chambers
Saying that, however, how hard is it to put your faith into something that you do not entirely believe? You have to have faith in something that is true and real. Knowing that it may not give you a lot of worldly success... but knowing that by doing so, you are furthering the Kingdom of God! Faith is a tricky thing. Believing in something that you can't touch or see... sounds outrageous! I like to look at it this way. I like to see those around me and situations I'm in as God Himself. Feeling my sister's baby kick, for example.. now THAT is God. It's something that boggles my brain! There is a completely different soul living in my sister's body! Watching the sunset... God. I could go on all day long naming things that are so unexplainable... the only reasonable explanation can be GOD! He shows Himself to me daily. He let's me know He's here. I wonder how I don't see Him in MORE! He's everywhere!
Now... for the whole "never knowing where you are being led" thing... It's one of the hardest things in the entire world to let go of and to put trust in. Sometimes I find myself freaking out about a bunch of little things. I freak out so intensely sometimes. I wonder where I'm going to be living next, what my future holds, how I'm going to make it until the end of the month with only a few dollars left in my bank account, if my sister's baby is going to be healthy... Things that God is obviously big enough for. Why don't I give Him enough credit?! Why do I doubt... EVER! It IS hard... It is certainly hard. We tend to think that we know best... that we know ourselves better than anyone... and we know the solution to problems. I challenge you to actually STOP next time you're about to make a decision... or back out of making one for that matter... and actually PRAY about it! I think we forget to pray about things. Every day things should be prayed over. Every situation and person we come in contact with. I tend to feel like my faith gets stronger as I start to trust God with EVERY LITTLE small thing in my life and not just the big things.
"When you have a right-standing relationship with God, you have a life of freedom, liberty, and delight; you ARE God's will" - Oswald Chambers
WHAT?! I will come to a point in my life where I don't even wonder if what I'm doing is right or not? I will know?! I will be so close with God that I will KNOW?!?! That boggles my brain. That makes me SO flippin excited to pray daily... about everything. I have always desired to be in that place. I have just been SO distracted with 'my' life and 'my' plans recently. I don't know if I've experienced this kind of closeness with God... but Lord knows I want to! It sounds more exciting to me than a relationship with another person. I have focused so much of my life, emotions, and thoughts on finding the person who I'm supposed to be with on this earth, that I forget the one I will be with for all eternity!
I have always known that I can't ever be satisfied and deeply in love with any one person unless I'm not first satisfied and deeply in love with Jesus. He IS love... without God, I have nothing. I don't know how to love. I couldn't possibly know how to love without having God living it out through me.
"You are free to make decisions in the light of a perfect and delightful friendship with God, knowing that if your decisions are wrong He will lovingly produce that sense of restraint. Once He does, you must stop immediately." - Oswald Chambers
THAT QUOTE! O man... I have most definitely experienced that feeling before. I have struggled and fought so viciously against God before so that I could do what I want to do. In the end... I was left heartbroken and full of regret that I didn't listen to the pull of the Holy Spirit sooner.
I have been so challenged lately by things Chambers talks about in My Utmost for His Highest. The one I'm reading today, he asks us to examine our prayer life and think about the last time we prayed. "Was your determination to get some gift of the spirit for yourself or to get to God?" - Chambers. He also quotes Matthew 6:8 - "For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him"
If we have a desire to be closer to God and to further understand His will in our lives, PRAY! That's pretty much all there is to it!